- i have been a bore for the past months since i was declared a "professional". I am not even fit to be called one since i don't function as one at all. Nothing's been going on except for the ramblings of my troubled mind,the hullabaloos of my online shop and what's going on between Lucas Scott, Peyton Sawyer, Serena-Dan and the Chuck-Blair thingy every TV tuesdays. (btw, i declared every tuesday as TV tuesdays since i watch my fave shows, shows that feed my mind and soul, every tuesdays.)
.
- Back to the point (of no return), everybody seems so busy and eager to get their careers to a jump start; reviewing for international exams, going to job fairs and even applying for a job at a couple of hospitals. It sometimes frustrates me how indecisive i am when it comes to these things. Until this day, i don't have a clear timetable of what should i do. This is bad. Considering the fate of nurses nowadays, i consider myself last in line, a slow put; a lazy bum! I should have taken steps to get my lazy butt up to practice what i call my "profession" ages ago. I don't know what holds me back so much. But definitely one of the reasons is that i don't have a buddy to hold on to as i take these necessary steps. what if i had bad balance after all? i am afraid to fall down, most of all, i'm afraid to fall on my own.
.
- At times, i get really sad when no one updates me with what's up and about. at times, i feel like people don't even care that i am also needing infos. yes, no one's closer to me than queencie alone among the june takers and she's gone to Med school. maybe this is why i am the last to know. (why do "people always leave"? grr! peyton help me.) i don't blame them for anything. of course you would tend to stick on your own cliques first before going out of the bubble. sometimes, i also tend to do so. it's just depressing that i am alone now.
.
- i really don't know what to do. people keep on asking me what i do or what plans i have. i just tend to smile and say that i will review for nclex. but i'm not really sure when. i have not even applied for eligibility yet. and at times, i refuse to open the site of the california board of nursing.and until now, i haven't opened it yet. this takes me back to the summer of 2004 wherein i haven't decided what to take up in college until the month of may. i used to fake sleep just to get out of bed late and eat my meals earlier than everybody so that i can avoid "the talk". it's not that i don't want this to happen. maybe i'm still waiting for me to be ready; to be ready to finally face what it takes to grow up. Growing up sucks! and most of all, i want a buddy. i always pray that the Lord will help me take the right path and make right decisions and i believe he is leading me through it. i just need to embrace His will fully.
.
- the november takers are about to take their boards in two weeks time. hopefully, jelai would want to accompany me in my plans if they are through. i am rooting for that hope left. that could be my only hope since kai plans to take up dentistry and chessa wants to work first. i on the other hand want to take all exams first before proceeding to work. that is my only plan now.
.
- for the meantime, i am waiting for december 24 and 25 to finish my iv therapy completion requirements. i'm sure i'll be blogging about this unique christmas! i also enrolled myself in graduate school for a master's degree together with ralp, jelai and stephen.
.
- i am never really good with short term goals. i always see myself in the far distant future. i want to work in california, but i don't know where to start. i do all this inquiry to those who have applied for eligibility but i end up doing nothing. No application, no review. I even have no school documents on hand since my thesis was stuck with my research adviser. she is on leave. i didn't even know if she really got it since i just asked the girls to give it to her. all i need is her signature for approval. aarrgh! this is so i-dont-know-what-to-call-so-i-just-scream!
.
- As of the moment, this is it. plain dumb nothingness.
0 comments:
Post a Comment