first day blues..

• its the first day of school and i’m feeling all wrong. i feel like my soul was trapped in melancholic solitude. i was kinda spaced out and lost. i was not wrong on my vision about myself sitting alone while the rest of the world is chatting with their seatmates. i feel like i suddenly don’t belong. this is not me! i am not a loner! being alone never felt this bad..

• i just want my super friends back!

• what was more disheartening is that there would be a group activity in one of our classes and we have the option to group ourselves with our "best friends" as what the teacher had directed. i feel like screaming that "i have no best friend here!!" at that moment! i am not very comfortable with my new section to be honest.

• i just need my super friends back!

• i feel like a part of my being was stripped off of me. i know i’m just being a drama queen here but i have to release all these tensions or else its gonna be worse. i just can’t get over of the thought that we’re not classmates anymore but i understand that i have to do it soon. i have to be happy and comfortable just the way it is even if its going to be hard. i have to unleash the semi-social butterfly in me though its going to be a little tough.

• this is the first time that i don’t feel like its the first day of school. i did not care that it was the first day. i did not feel like i had a break in the first place so i did not feel any difference since i spent my break on on-call duties. hehe.

• speaking of which, all the while i thought i had already completed my scrubs. this morning, i was informed that my last case which is supposed to be a minor operation is now considered a major one. shucks and smuckers! what a bummer! i have to get another one. the question is, when? since i really don’t want to do it on weekdays which is our lecture days and on weekends, its our board review time..tsk,tsk..pity me.

• i know everything will be fine soon..i just know..and i still, just want to be with my friends. i am now sipping a cup of coffee which also reminds me of my coffee buddies–them!

• breathe hazel, breathe…

nov 5, 2007