the day i became one of them

announcing to the world that i am now a nurse!!!

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july 24, 2008, 8 something-ish in the evening:

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• mama was calling me hurriedly and excitedly. i thought there was some colored-feathered bird or an amusing creature who entered our kitchen. (really, what the heck was i thinking?!) then she told me that the results of the board exam was out! oh my god..oh my freakin’ god! my system began to tremble..i was at a state wherin i did not know what to do..my mind was full of ringing noises and distorted pictures. i think i forgot to breathe at that second! i hurriedly listened to the radio as Bombo Radyo was about to announce the result. they were about to announce my life!

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• i was not able to get much sleep that day since i stayed up late the night before (not to forget on the 20th) in anticipation that they’ll release it on the midnight of the 24th. little did i expect that it will be released that night!

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• i let my brother get my phone as i ran to browse the internet. i was in the living room watching Married Away, a new show, when my adrenaline rushed. 2 messages. 1 was from queencie, she said she needed something..i never got to finish it! i skipped to the other one from my high school friend, edrex. "Friend, congrats! RN ka na..100% daw st pauls tapos daw may nakasulod sa top 10." as i read this, part of me is saying, no! u can’t finish the message. u cannot just believe a text. you have to prove it yourself. then a part of me is saying, "i am a nurse. I AM A NURSE!! FINALLY! we all are!! 100% kami!!"

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• then i logged on to yahoo messenger. nang kim was online. she’s my buddy as we await the results. we chat in order to keep our eyes wide. i told her and the people at home that somebody texted me that we got a 100% passing in the NLE! and one was in the top 10. and i’m still in denial! i won’t believe it until i, myself heard it. she told me that was jeff, he is in the top 8. as i knew of it, i was so happy and proud of him. he deserves it more than anybody i know. kudos jeff!

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• we chatted for a while. this was the real stat valvuloplasty moment! my hand were cold, my breathing gets deeper by the minute and my guts are twisted hard, and hard, and hard. i was super nervous and nauseated by then..i got misty eyed. still, every fiber of my being is trembling in anticipation.

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• 100%???? it lingered in my mind but still i won’t believe it. i clarified to edrex how he got the news. it was in bombo radyo, he texted back. by that time, i was texting "bombo fm service hazel joy u. te st. paul university iloilo" to 29765 as directed so that they can say my name on air if i passed. i swear my fingers felt so numb that i didn’t know if i was typing it correctly! i also informed queencie about it but no reply from her.

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• i checked the internet. nothing. no updates yet. PRC website, BON website, inquirer, nursing crib, my email address..all had nothing for me! at this point, i was pacing back and forth from the kitchen to the living room. half of my attention was on the radio. half was on the internet. and yes, i tripped several times as i went back and forth. i felt like my knees were locked and my feet numb! i couldn’t even say what i was feeling. i mean, i was confident that we will make it but still, possibilities are possibilities.

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• i transfered my laptop in the kitchen where papa was listening to the radio. luckily, the announcer was saying that the results are in just as he turned on the radio. i always knew that there’s an advantage in my part out of papa’s habit to listen to the radio every morning, noon and night even if i’m quite irritated sometimes. so i was sitting there, with my laptop, still chatting to nang kim, listening to updates on the radio, with my webcam video on and still trembling. i wanted to capture my reaction as i pass the boards so i turned on the video.

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• minutes later, it was time. several schools were announced. one of them was SPUI. i did not care what are the other schools, my attention was only narrowed to st paul university iloilo and hazel jou u. te. so ok, the schools were mentioned.."AND THEY HAVE A PASSING RATE OF…100%!!"

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• i just yelled. i yelled yes! and held my hand up high in victory. not 5 seconds later, i was in tears. i sent a message to nang kim and queencie saying that the news is confirmed. my tears kept flowing, and it was captured in the video! yikes! after it was announced that we got 100%, i did not bother to listen anymore. it felt like my ears were not functioning. that was all i needed to hear. i just needed to hear that we got 100% then i can give a sigh of relief. first, i was a limp, now i am deaf! this is how the news got into my nerves! haha! minutes later, my name was on air following nang kim’s. i just said YES! again..

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• after that, numerous text messages and calls arrived. fans!.. they never fail to support..haha! friends texted and most relatives from bacolod called. the phones just kept ringing. we were exchanging phones minutes later. news do have wings! i was just in tears that night. the joy was overflowing. we couldn’t believe this is happening! at last we did it! our batch has been through the worst and now, we have proven to the world that we are and we can!

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• mama then mentioned how is ms timay now that we all passed. i texted her then and congratulated her. after a while, she called me on my cell. that was the time i really cried. she is very dear to our batch and a friend to the royalty girls. i just cried the while time she congratulated me and told me she is so happy. she confirmed that jeff is in the top 8. she told me that since the beginning, she never doubted that we will make it. we are different. that got me into super tears. her call really meant a lot to me.

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• jessica also called. i also cried. hehe. as i heard her say congratulations, i was reminded of the november board takers. they are the next to follow our footsteps and i just know that they, too, will make it. the support that they have given to us was undeniably felt by every june taker. i was also touched that a lot had my number and remembered to congratulate me. this made me even happier.

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• early that afternoon, i don’t know what got into me but i took the BP readings of people at home. little did i know that that was my last as a student nurse. i think this is really where i am meant to be. this is what i want to do.

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• we prayed the rosary in thanksgiving that night.

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• i was not able to sleep until about 3 am and woke up at 6:45. i was half asleep the whole time! i woke up with a headache from last night’s crying. that day, we went to school to be reunited again. this time, as new nurses. we were very elated. we were screaming, laughing and joking around the whole time. we went there to thank our clinical instructors, staff, personnel in the school and hospital who contributed to our new self. we also attended our noon mass at sto. nino chapel.

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• after the mass, we congratulated each other. then somebody yelled, si mother queen niyo! my neck stretched so hard until i saw ms. timay’s head. i went up to her and smiled. then she reached out to hug me. there was something in her hug which drove me to tears, again. i don’t know why but i just cried. after that, we took some pictures and talked a while. we had lunch with her at shakey’s after our short talk. she treated us!(which was not planned of course) hehe..

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• later that afternoon, we attended the nursing assembly at school. an ABS-CBN cameraman was there to take a short video clip of us. too bad i was not able to see it in TV patrol iloilo. the whole nursing body stood up in applause as we went up the stage. we were quite shy at first, but who cares? we passed the board exam! after 5 years, SPUI got a 100% passing again. the crown is back at its throne..hehe!

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• we shouted our goal again. but this time, we passed it on to the rest of the paulinians who are aiming to affix the letters "RN" to their names. WE passed to them our goal which is "to pass and top the board exam!"

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• this day was surreal. i just never stopped smiling. everybody is happy. everybody is satisfied.

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• june 26: my name was on the national papers! for the first time!yahoo!

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• at long last, i became one of them.

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• if this is what they call bliss, i am willing to do this all over again!

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july 29, 2008