First.

I saw The Time Traveler's Wife last Monday, September 14. It was my first time to see a movie alone. I had a good me-time in a long while. The feeling of watching a movie alone was really peaceful. There were like only 10 of us in the theater that afternoon. Most of them had dates while I am alone, treating myself for I deserve it much. The movie was really good! Not really a must see but it's a breather amidst the stereotype of the movies now. The plot was really unique and it makes you think deeper of what true love is. This movie will make you believe that love transcends time and it really is intensified by absence. I give this a two thumbs up! If you are a hopeless romantic movie buff, just like me, you HAVE to watch this flick!

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Anyways, I have not been writing for a while now. I have been going on practicum clinical duty for my Advance Medical Surgical Nursing 3 course. As usual, I still lack confidence in what I was doing. I don't know if it's the assessment tool that I'm using or my skills are just too amateur. But then again, learning is a process. This is work in progress. I'm glad I am finished with the requirements ahead of the others and I have already submitted the written reports yesterday. I am almost done with the course! Hardwork, discipline and being diligent pays. I am really proud of myself that I was able wo work on this faster than what I would usually do. I loved to look at the 2 folders containing 126 pages of hard work combined that I submitted! Maybe the diligent gene finally broke its dormant state in my body.. haha! Nah...I just want to get this over with so that I could start with my research proposal ASAP. The idea of having my second degree next year excites the best in me!

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I really had a fun time yesterday! Dinner with Graduate School CI, CI-turned-classmates and other classmates was fun! It was my former CI, Ms. Cormary's Birthday yesterday. Since she's our classmate, she treated our class for dinner at Imay's. It was really really really fun! Maybe one of the funniest dinners I have been to. God knows how censored the birthday girl's blabbers were. Hahaha! My Golly! haha! (shakes head!) Those chats were just beyond morals! hahaha! Nevertheless, it was my first time to go out on a dinner like that. All of them were not really close to me but I had a fun time! It's nice to have your former instructors ans classmates and friends now. This graduate school experience is really different for me but it made me better in more aspects than one. I enjoyed it!

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And also, the books that I've been waiting to get from Don arrived already! Yipee! I'll read The Time Traveler's Wife and One Tree Hill: A Heart So True soon! I still need to convince Don to let me pay for them although I know that my efforts will be useless! (Haha!) I also got another one at National Book Store last night. What is with me and my unintentional fate of getting many books all in one day?! I bought the Expanded Medicine Blue Book, which I should've gotten before my practicum duty. Oh well, I will still need it later on. It is only this time that I have this enthusiasm to learn much. If only, I had this when I was in college...Nonetheless, it is never too late.

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Love and Bliss!

hazel is spelled S-T-U-P-I-D

Today, I was awakened by the sound of Mr. Bean's cartoon theme. My phone was ringing. Somebody was calling me at 6 in the morning. Nevertheless, that was not a phone call. All I heard were an enthusiastic "Hi Haze!" and my sleepy "Hello?" and "Hmm?" then the call went off. Well, I wouldn't call that interruption of deep slumber since it was so timely that my eyes opened a couple of seconds before my phone rang. I was surprised more than I was startled. (Ngirit ngirit lang da ang may sala ah...hahaha! Hirihi pa kun gusto mo!) I have an inkling what was that phone call for. And I was right about it. That certain earthling passed the NCLEX. (Congrats!! You deserve it!) I was not mindful that my sleep was disturbed. What bothered me was that I was not able to get back to dreamland immediately. I was worried that I may not be able to sleep anymore considering that I lack one. I returned to dreamland around an hour and a half after. (Today's dreamland adventure is another story. My crazy dreams striked again.)

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Anyway, what I was saying is how in the world that I lack sleep. That night I slept at around the same time. But the BIG BUT there, is that I was exhausted. Yesterday, my whole being was just transformed into a plain dumb idiotic stupid moron! Excuse the diction. Usually, even if I sleep late, it is because that I am watching TV, chatting or doing stuffs in the net. This things do not harrass me. This things may relax me. But last night (Tues), I was cramming up my homework to be passed tomorrow (Thurs). I did not realize that this week was already exam week! I asked our professor last week if we will pass our assignment on Tuesday, she said that we will submit it on the exam week. I did not realize that this week is already exam week! We will have our exams tomorrow. TOMORROW FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! I am such a shithead!!!! Daw sa gaga lang! hahaha! And so, after I got home, I logged on to start working on the 5 theorists.

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And as I logged on Yahoo Messenger, I saw THE offline message that much more affirmed that I am a big bird brain! I saw Manang Kim's message. We talked before I left for school that day. Not to mention that at noon time, I was confused of the time of our class..2 PM or 3?? I decided it was 3 since my intuition is strong about it. Anyway, the offline message said, "OK, Bye...malantaw pa ko di sang TV Tuesdays ta." UH-OH!!! Today is actually Tuesday. TV Tuesdays. One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl day. And I effin' FORGOT!!!!

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Preoccupation was never a problem. Anything was never a problem. Anything never came in my way to forgot watching those TV shows! That day was just not me. The dummy bug has taken over my whole already dummy being. This is just unforgivable! How can I forget to watch One Tree Hill that it has become a routine since last year! How can I possibly forget the highlight of my every Tuesday? This is unforgivable!!! haha! Even if anyone won't know I haven't watched it, I feel like I owe it to myself. To cynics out there, I am an addict. Deal with it! And so I hurriedly find a link in the net for me to watch it. The Gossip Girl link was not working and until now, I haven't watched it yet but I can deal with it. Luckily, God still loves stupid people like me, the One Tree Hill link was loading, slowly, very slowly loading. At least it did. And so, I used that time to motivate myself to work on my homework.

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I rammed through internet sites, did the usual copy/paste from my books and the sites and voila! I finished 3 theorists that night just as the link was already fully loaded. At first I confused myself as to the number of theorists I will be working on. I knew it was 5. But when I looked at my notes, I only have 4 listed. So that gave me a relief. But later on, as I browsed the syllabus, I saw that it was really 5! Shit! I remembered I did not include Erik Erikson in my notes since he is already in the book that I brought. See, how distraught I am that day?! Lesson learned? Follow your first instinct. And as Sr. George said this afternoon on our Spirituality of St. Paul class, "Your first gut feel is actually God speaking to you."...Makes really good sense!

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So, that was the tale of how hazel is now spelled S-T-U-P-I-D.

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I am happy that today, I finished my assignment ready for tomorrow! Wish me luck for tomorrow's exam! Thank God Grad School exams are open book ones!

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Love and Bliss!

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Listening to: Canon in D by Mozart (got a hang of this in Jam Legend in which i'll play after this..)

smiling bum

• just went back home from school..rather from a 5 minute class! haha! i just met with my teacher for some instructions then went home..what a bummer! going there at 4pm is just quite aargh!

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• nevertheless, i had some short chika with ms timay and sir pendon which left me a large dose of random smiles that will probably supply me for the whole week! hahaha! the DH thing never 'leaves'! haha!

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• this morning we had a film showing about cosmetic surgery in bioethics class. made me think, what if we will all be just a bunch of benjamin buttons in the next years? oh well!

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• (random smiles)

not just another first day high..

• im officially back in school!!
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• we had our first day of classes yesterday in graduate school. (Can you believe it?! GRADUATE SCHOOL! feels weird, still..). last saturday was our general orientation in the Master of Nursing program. i can hardly believe i'm typing this. haha! this is a whole new different experience to me.

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• yesterday, i woke up very early at 6 am to be in school at 7. 6 is very early to me considering that my usual waking hours is between 8:30 to 10 in the morning since june 3. i have no choice but to pull my silly butt off my bed and take a shower, or a bucket of water shall i say, since neither of our shower or faucets are working since our water tank broke. We were supposed to be in school from 7am to 7pm. What a long day it is! But the first day was spent only on orientation of the course outline and instructions regarding our assignments, the rest of the hours were cut down to mere chikas, catching up on what has been, laughter and a little gossip in between. Ralp, jelai, stephen and i spent most of our time in a room by ourselves and just talking our way as we kill time to wait for the next classes.

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• we also got our ID's..feels so weird having MAN and not Nursing as placed in the ID.
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• and mind you, it was not only faces that had a big transformation..the graduate school program was another as well. it is a long way compared to what i was used to in college. (Again, it feels sooo weird to say this since it was only last March when it ended and it didn't feel long at all.) Back in "college", we are used to going to school everyday, showing up for exams and school works.

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• Now that we are on our way to earn a Master's degree, it is very much different. We only show up on saturdays and not even every saturday; only those saturdays wherein we have discussions and/or exams. we will only meet 3-4 times this semester. Assignments will be sent via email and submitted via email as well. What a long way it is, huh?

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• They call us "adult learners". Independent. I wanted to stick my tongue out in disgust! haha! i was never independent! i always needed a push. But then again, there are deadlines. And i will just have to pretend that those dates can scream at me whenever i am in lazy or super lazy mode. After all, i am one of the servien christi mariae; one of the one- day wonders! hehe..but with 4 subjects and 4 sets of assignments every week, how am i supposed to finish those things? Not to mention all of them needed one of the things i don't like to do--RESEARCH WORK. whew! this is tougher than i expected. by now, you may say, "who told you to take 12 units??!". haha..honestly, i just feel like it..hehehe..just taking advantage of the remaining times when i have the full weeks for months free...in short, being unemployed!!

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• WEIRD was the feeling of the day. Since our little stint last week when all of the graduate school students were asked to stand while being introduced, i am embarrassed. Embarrassed by the thought that we are the youngest of the brood and almost all of our classmates are our previous clinical instructors! aaahhh!!! i wanna get out of my skin last saturday when we had to stand then all eyes were on us. They may think, "wow..time flies. they're on graduate school now." or "what batch are they?" or "why are they here?"..hehehe! whatever! i am just silently saying that they should be more ashamed since they haven't got their masters when they were still young and vibrant as we are now.. bwahahaha! it's just to tone down the embarrassment thing..

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• and as i said, weird was the feeling of the day. we met or shall i say, discovered who our classmates are. they are nothing but our previous clinical instructors AGAIN. aaahh! can we get out of our skins, AGAIN? this felt soo weird being in one classroom with your "professor" as another one of your previous clinical instructors. The whole orientation sessions were full of hidden smiles and rambling thoughts. At times, i got lost for a second because a multitude of thoughts came rushing in my little brain.

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• People have this connotation of taking up a masters degree as something old people do or something you do in preparation to teach. Being surrounded by people older than you, people working in hospitals or have had hospital experience made me feel like a glass half empty instead of half full. my confidence level went down several notches. hehe..having been surrounded with clinical instructors as classmates is intimidating. Its like being a tin can in a sea of pearls; a bottle cap in a set of Harry Winston's.

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• but then again, a bottle cap is a classic. And a classic never fades..it is only reinvented but it served the same purpose. And it is always on top..hehehe..i have never thought to compare myself to a bottle cap. haha!but i guess this time, i need to tweak myself a little to give way to these challenges and in the end, finish the course with much enthusiasm and determination, if only i can get rid of my lazy butt..hehe! but i'll really try...

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• i went home tired but i don't know why since we hardly did something. maybe my body has to adjust again with all the hustle and bustle of student life after several months of being a couch potato. hehe..also, not to mention my finger hurts since my calluses are gone and there was nothing to cushion the pen!haha! although i had just written a few bullets just to look "scholarly" enough by not copying the whole thing. hehe! this is what i get from not writing and just typing for the longest time..anyway, these are just minors for the day..

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• the majors were the realization that i have to rise above my lazy self in order to do this. This will entail much determination and i hope i can develop the right discipline needed for this recent endeavor.

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• i'm pausing graduate school thoughts and tasks for now..gotta focus first on the things needed for the november board exam on the 29th and 30th..nong don and i had loads to do!

application essay for graduate school

this was my application essay submitted to the program chair of the graduate school, who is Mother Queen, of course..hehe..

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At first i was submitted 2 sentences but she turned it down and quipped that it has to be 500-word essay. how am i supposed to fit a 500-word essay into a little space in the application form?hehe...peace! nevertheless, here it goes...

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Over the years, the number of Filipino nurses has increased to more than what people can place on their dinner tables, reflecting our economy and obviously, to more than what our hospitals need. Given this scenario, it is very challenging for a beginner to penetrate easily in the vast world that is 21^st century Nursing.

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As a neophyte nurse myself, this pose a great challenge for me to practice the profession as it should be, when fused along with the demands of modernization. Thus, the desire to pursue higher education and be a Master’s degree holder became a demand. I believe going to post graduate studies will enhance me as a professional, where continuing education is valued and a part of every step. It will further equip me with what I need to face the battle and in the end emerge to be on top.

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Working in the health care field is and will never be a joke. The clients need the care and service that they deserve. I consider pursuing higher education in Nursing as one way to give the best and all that you can be to deliver the care that each client ought to have. Also, having a Master’s degree early in practicing the profession will help me maximize its use. It will be deemed useful and beneficial as I take on my professional endeavors.

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Earning a Master’s degree will also enable to me to work as a specialist in the field of Nursing. I decided on Medical Surgical Nursing as my major. I believe that it will enhance my knowledge on patient care. It will further assist me as I work in hospitals and face different clients with various health care needs.

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Seeking higher education will also prepare me better for what lies ahead. As Jared Weiss, a life coach, once said, you cannot control how you are perceived; you can only control how you are presented. In five years time, I would want to present myself as a professional nurse having a job suited to fit my values and expertise. By then, I have touched many lives and those same lives will benefit with what I have added to my credentials more than myself. At the same time that I have set my professional career at a jump start, I would also be helping my family. It will only be then that I can say that this will all be worth it.

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Seeing the trend in nursing nowadays, it comes to a conclusion where you have to strive hard to be at par with others. There is no surer way to get to the top. Waiting for a falling star will take eternity. What is sure now is to find means on how to reach a single star for you to get a close view of the whole constellation. By then, you can start reaching for another one.

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I believe there will always be a place for me at the top and pursuing higher education in Nursing will take me to a step to attain my own star.

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By the way, this essay made me a slave to the mother queen..haha! She liked this and made me write a speech for her for a leadership event..toink!