Mixed Mondays

I don't know why I feel so emotional today. I just do. (Hormones?! I really don't know!) Nevertheless, I feel like I can't contain my emotions, they just flow out..These things depict my mind, heart and soul now...

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• Weddings almost always make me cry.
• Watching the Judy Ann-Ryan wedding made me cry and swoon and get envious
• I love the above mentioned wedding. I think it topped Lea Salonga's in my list. But I still love Lea singing her wedding vows
• "And if life should come to just one question...Do I hold each moment true?...no trace of sadness..always with gladness...I do." I love lea Salonga!
• I just got misty eyed by merely reading Flora's blog entry about her sister's wedding. It was just a short entry describing the place and how they also teared up. And I don't even know her sister! It was just beautiful. Love is.
• I am in a sing-song mode
• Beautiful Girl by Jose Mari Chan made me nostalgic
• "afraid for love to fade before it can come true..."
• "so close to reaching that famous happy end..almost believing this was not pretend..now you're beside me and look how far we've come..so far...we are..so close..."
• Wedding Dress by Matt Nathanson which was featured in last weeks OTH episode
• People Always Leave (in all its matter and form)
• Thinking of Chad and Hilarie leaving One Tree Hill makes me teary eyed. I'm getting sentimental over the friendships that I formed because of One Tree Hill and primary because of "Leyton"
• I am excited and anxious for tomorrow's season finale..I hope they get a decent send-off.
• books..
• love songs...
• being solitary
• envy..
• rainy day thoughts...
• paperworks...unlimited paperworks..
• deadlines
• limits...
• yesterday's medical-surgical-dental mission..view photos here.
• life path and career...
• love and lost..
• excitement..
• confusion..
• aniticipation...
• I wanna feel how it is to be IN love...
• (sigh..) (sigh...)

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So looking forward to tomorrow's One Tree Hill season finale!! I'm so glad I finished all paperwork due this week! whew! what a relief! I only got 2 more left. I'll see if I can start with one tomorrow.

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Love and Bliss!

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Listening To: Angel by Kate Voegele

Happy Day Tag-- Day 7& 8

super late post....

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DAY 7 .

I was in Bacolod for the baptism of my cousin's son, Dennison Clyde..He was such a cutie baby! He smiles and laughs at everyone. Ambok-ambok!! I attended his baptism as his godmother. The other godmothers and godfathers are their families and friends also. A pair was a mutual friend of my mom's since they are the supplier of Pilot products..hehe..As usual, Bacolod is fun! It's really fun to see and catch up with relatives. I only knew that afternoon, that my cousin Kitchie arrived already. We saw each other that night. She was the center of the family's grilling about her boyfriend. haha! We went home the next day.

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DAY 8 .

Last day of the Happy Tag post..It was a Tuesday. Tuesdays are One Tree Hill days. This is the episode before the season finale which would be airing next week. Lucas and Peyton got married!!! And I was crying the whole time when Haley read the prediction box until the end of the ceremony!! I cried again when Lucas said "Peyton Scott"...Awwww! I love this show!! It's only sad to know that Chad and Hilarie won;t be coming back next season...Just knew about this last Wednesday...tsk..tsk...I hope that Mark Schwann and the other writers would give them a proper send off next week! But still...Nothing's gonna be the same... (People Always Leave)

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So that's the end of it..8 Happy Days! That was a rather crazy week with paperwork deadlines screaming at me. But nevertheless, I finished them all and all I am left to do now is my take-home exam, a reflection papar and a research paper...I can do it all by the 20th.

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This is a good tag. Sometimes, I can only see darkness in my days but this enable me to puch myself and see the light. As I post happy thoughts here, I am affirming that life is indeed good!

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Love and Bliss!

Happy Day Tag-- Day 5 & 6

DAY 5

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The comedy happened late night..Pahabol! haha! Jam Jam, my brother's best friend slept over at our place. That afternoon he told me that he can perform pranic healing on me.. He knows how to. I am really fascinated how it works..with all the aura and chakra thingy. However, I was not able to be "healed" since I was still doing my homework when we was ready to begin. Instead, my brother took my place. It was really funny seeing them! hahaha! Jam Jam was doing this aura sweeping while trying to hold his laughter! hahaha! I was just on the computer trying to hold mine as well! JJ was also laughing! hahaha! So from the middle of the short session until it was finished, the three of us are holding our laughter. My stomach was already hurting!! haha!

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DAY 6

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Today was Mother's Day. Aside from being sooooo happy to have a great mom, another comedic stunt was done by the boys! I love these kids! They really make me laugh every single time! We had our lunch at Emilion (Grand Dame Hotel). This lady, who was allegedly the grandma of ther classmate, who owns the hotel, was the center of the bruhaha. The boys and Papa were arguing this lady's persona. The boys were saying that she is the grandma of their classmate but were not sure which side of the family. They said she saw her at their friend's house when they used to go there. Papa was in disagreement and claimed that she is just a look alike. This issue kept popping out at random moments during our meal. Until it came to a point that the boys betted against Papa. The bet was, whoever loses will scratch the winner's back for one day! haha! To confirm the issue, Papa asked the waiter. And....dun-dun-dun-dun...He lost the bet! hahaha! The boys were laughing at him! haha! He made the boys greet the grandma, since they won anyway! hahaha!

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I was so full of my lunch. I even got dizzy after the elevator stopped at the 2nd floor then went down again at the ground floor. To found out that, my brother pressed the elevator button at the second floor since they used the stairs going down! grr!

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Nevertheless, today was good. I haven't continued my paperworks but I am optimistic. I have already finished half of the bulk for the following week. Tomorrow, I'll be in Bacolod for Dennison's baptism. I'm gonna be his fairy godmother..hehe! So that means, minus one day for work. Still, I have to finish all of my requirements by May 20!! I have to be in that family vacation!!! See you Cebu and Bohol!!!

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Love and Bliss!

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Listening To: One Voice by Billy Gillman

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May 10, 2009

Happy Day Tag -- Day 4

Again, today was tiring. Homework and yesterday stuffs were trafficking my mind. Today was not a jolly happy day but or like a thankful happy day.

I finished only 1 case study out for the two that I should have finished earlier. So 4 out of 5 case studies were answered by moi already. Many more to go!! Today's target was supposedly 2 case studies and some fact sheets in another subject. I will finish it tomorrow.

I am anticipatory for next week...

"I can see clearly now the rain is gone...I can see all obstacles in my way..." lalala....(Hopefully!!)

Love and Bliss!

Happy Day Tag -- Day 3

Today was very tiring. I was at school for a whole day class. Theoretical Foundations of Education was practically a crash course this time! haha! Nevertheless, it did not prevent me to be happy.

These past few days, I was once again, having weird dreams. The kind of dreams that make you wonder "what the heck?!". They were topsy turvy, jumping from once scene to another and involving unusual persons. I think I had 3 in a month now. I have read in an article that dreams are the outlet of your subconscious. They show suppressed thoughts, thoughts that you run away from but eventually have to face. A key to recurrent dreams is getting the dreams' main theme. As I try to remember my dreams, I eventually realized that I am in a state of being in a hurry; running away from being chased. I was running to get my bag, being in a hurry to get home and running away from someone. But someone always comes to the rescue to fetch me and helps to get me home.

The thing is, I have been thinking a lot lately. To work or not to work this year? As much as it is important to have a decision as soon as possible, I always see myself suppressing that thought. I am preoccupied with Graduate School these days. The assignments can be quite monstrous! I want to concentrate in getting my Masters but I am also thinking of the time that will pass with me not getting a clinical experience and seeing classmates who are passing exams and working makes me feel useless. However, if I will go on full semesters all the way, I can have my thesis done and hopefully graduate by March next year. And so, I am in a dilemma. A dilemma that I don't want to think about just yet. Something that I am running away from but stresses me a lot because I need to be in a hurry to make a decision. (Dreams do really make sense. And it's weird being your own shrink..haha!)

Now, the happy thing is, my prayers were answered. But the irony and funny thing is, those somebodys that help me get home is actually the somebodys that helped me in this dilemma. They did not exactly make me ride in their car and took me home, but they helped me in finding my answer. At the end of the day, problems do have solutions, comfortable solutions; just like what home is. The other day, my answer was 50-50. But today, it was confirmed. I am not working just yet. Ms. Timay and I talked this morning. I didn't care that my class was probably starting, I just had to finish that talk. Besides, it was really fun. And as much as I am an "angel to her", I think she is more and angel to me. The Lord answered my prayers. THE LORD ANSWERED MY PRAYERS!!! She just gave me a work opportunity which would allow me to focus on getting that second degree. I'm not even sure if that work means work=job=pay or work=help=no pay. It involves being in the secretariat for accreditation along with a buddy of mine. Nurse secretary..haha! The core of this relief is that I will have something to work on, hopefully sooner and hopefully it will happen, other than my assignments. Plus, I have something to place in my resume that will show what I did before applying for jobs. Now I just have to wait for reality top unfold. Hopefully, this is certain.

"Haze, indi ka lang anay mag-ubra ha.." never sounded that good. It gave me a sense of relief. This is a different kind of happey. This is not just "jolly happy" but more like, "happy inside".. Now, I can have a good night sleep. No hurrying...No running away...I am finally home.

Love and Bliss!!!!

Happy Day Tag -- Day 2

I am happy because:

• I was spared in a reporting during our class because of the good ol' "saved by the bell". I was not able to prepare anything for the report. I was not able to find the book where my topic is. Ergo, no reading and Powerpoint presentation! haha! I was damn lucky!
• Tonight will be another American Idol performance night. I always love a good show!
• Shoti gave me another ping pong basic: the serve. (Last Sunday was the racket. I am such a ping pong dummy that 2 persons, one at my side and one on chat, were teaching me yet I cannot comprehend!) He borrowed a ping pong ball at school because he wants to play here at home. (He's playing like crazy now, all by himself, with the wall as opponent. I can hear ball ticks!) I cracked myself up because I was down on the floor chasing the ball because I cannot hit it. I cannot hit it because I have spatial difficulties with ping pong, I am not the sports type and I tossed the ball across and not towards me! haha! That's how I ended up in the floor! hahaha! I am such a schmuck!
  

Love and Bliss!

Happy Day Tag -- Day 1

I was tagged by my cousin Michelle months ago to post a thing that made you happy for 8 straight days. This is a super late post but nevertheless, here it goes...

DAY 1

Today, our internet connection was restored. I was connected back to you...harhar! Yesterday, our phone line went off and was only back this morning. Only that, our line was switched with our neighbor's. Hence, we directed their calls to our phone number so that that can answer it there. Tsk, tsk...but thank God, it was restored back to normal during lunch time today! I have to do a homework and I need the internet to do it. I was planning to go out and use the internet station for it but luckily, I didn't have to.

And another thing. It was confirmed. I gained weight!!!! wohooo! For someone who has difficulty of gaining some pounds, the visit to the dress shop made me happy. I was trying on the top of my gown and it cannot be closed anymore. That was made almost 3 years ago. I know I could not fit in it since I also had another gown altered (big time!). I did not expect that the alteration is that big. 2 inches baby! hahaha! And the skirt, won't fit also. The waist can be managed but the hips don't lie! haha! Oh yeah, Shakira! Now you gave your song a whole new meaning! haha! My waist-hip proportions are always a problem with bottoms as always..hehe! Well, bottom line, I gained some lean and fats!

In response to this tag, I also have to tag certain friends...I tag Kai, Nang Maane, Nang Kim (TV Tuesdays also made me happy today, by the way), Marian, Nong Don, and Frankie..hehe..I tagged my blogspot followers...hehehe! You should also post you Happy 8 Days...

Love and Bliss!

Pacman eating power pellets, ghouls and more pellets

In a reflective mood, I opt to blog about Manny Pacquiao's astounding victory last Sunday.

I am not a boxing fan. (I don't know how such an act of violence came about as a sport loved by millions.) All I know and am positive about is I am a fan of the man's spirit. He is an epitome of someone who triumphs over this dog-eat-dog world.

Playing Pacman in video games always thrill me. Maybe because it is one of the games that my lame video game skills can fit into. I always enjoy getting those pellets, strategically eating power pellets so that I can devour those colored ghouls. But lame as I am, I cannot last long in the game. Pacquiao is like Pacman. The nickname suited well. He is strategic in his game, knocking down all opponents.

Born into humble beginnings, he rose over the line of poverty, and I mean, rose over like water overflowing..just keeps going on..and on..and on...Who could have ever imagined that punches would be equivalent to millions or even billions of kaching. I would never advocate boxing as a source of income. But for someone like Manny, you can't blame him.

Anyway, going back to the Hatton match, I really admire Manny's humility. I watched the weigh in of both boxers. Hatton just came off too confident for me. Haughty Hatton..(Maybe he should change the lyrics of his theme song to that..haha!) They were asked to say a few words for their fans and Ricky Hatton was braggy telling the fans that they won't go home disappointed. (Ha!) All Pacquiao said was that they don't know what's going to happen the next day..and only God knows.

It was almost unbelievable that being a boxing supernova that he is, he did not unleash an arguement to Hatton's words. Instead, he kept the fight an open ended question. However, an evil question lurks in my head. Maybe he said that since he was not able to think of a nasty comment in English..haha! Sorry, but Pacman's english entertains me like a good comedy. haha! Nah..I think he meant that comment..Just this once, I will believe that the world is still good.

Undeniably, Pacman is an inspiration. He is an inspiration of someone who reaches for his dreams, someone who aims high, someone who doesn't forget his humble beginnings and most especially, someone who has strong faith. I am always moved ny his gesture of kneeling down in a corning and praying before and after a fight, most especially after. Sometimes, we are too overwhelmed with joy that we forgot where the joy came from. I think that prayers coupled with his mother's are his secret.

If only everyday is Pacquiao matches day. People seem to be angels during the days of his matches. hehe! People are drwan to the Pacquiao fever! However, it is unfair to wish someone to be beaten up just to provoke peace. And to think, that someone who will be beaten up is the source of peace..haha!

If only for Manny Pacquiao, "Ang sarap maging Pinoy!"

Love and Bliss!

hazel is spelled S-T-U-P-I-D

Today, I was awakened by the sound of Mr. Bean's cartoon theme. My phone was ringing. Somebody was calling me at 6 in the morning. Nevertheless, that was not a phone call. All I heard were an enthusiastic "Hi Haze!" and my sleepy "Hello?" and "Hmm?" then the call went off. Well, I wouldn't call that interruption of deep slumber since it was so timely that my eyes opened a couple of seconds before my phone rang. I was surprised more than I was startled. (Ngirit ngirit lang da ang may sala ah...hahaha! Hirihi pa kun gusto mo!) I have an inkling what was that phone call for. And I was right about it. That certain earthling passed the NCLEX. (Congrats!! You deserve it!) I was not mindful that my sleep was disturbed. What bothered me was that I was not able to get back to dreamland immediately. I was worried that I may not be able to sleep anymore considering that I lack one. I returned to dreamland around an hour and a half after. (Today's dreamland adventure is another story. My crazy dreams striked again.)

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Anyway, what I was saying is how in the world that I lack sleep. That night I slept at around the same time. But the BIG BUT there, is that I was exhausted. Yesterday, my whole being was just transformed into a plain dumb idiotic stupid moron! Excuse the diction. Usually, even if I sleep late, it is because that I am watching TV, chatting or doing stuffs in the net. This things do not harrass me. This things may relax me. But last night (Tues), I was cramming up my homework to be passed tomorrow (Thurs). I did not realize that this week was already exam week! I asked our professor last week if we will pass our assignment on Tuesday, she said that we will submit it on the exam week. I did not realize that this week is already exam week! We will have our exams tomorrow. TOMORROW FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! I am such a shithead!!!! Daw sa gaga lang! hahaha! And so, after I got home, I logged on to start working on the 5 theorists.

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And as I logged on Yahoo Messenger, I saw THE offline message that much more affirmed that I am a big bird brain! I saw Manang Kim's message. We talked before I left for school that day. Not to mention that at noon time, I was confused of the time of our class..2 PM or 3?? I decided it was 3 since my intuition is strong about it. Anyway, the offline message said, "OK, Bye...malantaw pa ko di sang TV Tuesdays ta." UH-OH!!! Today is actually Tuesday. TV Tuesdays. One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl day. And I effin' FORGOT!!!!

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Preoccupation was never a problem. Anything was never a problem. Anything never came in my way to forgot watching those TV shows! That day was just not me. The dummy bug has taken over my whole already dummy being. This is just unforgivable! How can I forget to watch One Tree Hill that it has become a routine since last year! How can I possibly forget the highlight of my every Tuesday? This is unforgivable!!! haha! Even if anyone won't know I haven't watched it, I feel like I owe it to myself. To cynics out there, I am an addict. Deal with it! And so I hurriedly find a link in the net for me to watch it. The Gossip Girl link was not working and until now, I haven't watched it yet but I can deal with it. Luckily, God still loves stupid people like me, the One Tree Hill link was loading, slowly, very slowly loading. At least it did. And so, I used that time to motivate myself to work on my homework.

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I rammed through internet sites, did the usual copy/paste from my books and the sites and voila! I finished 3 theorists that night just as the link was already fully loaded. At first I confused myself as to the number of theorists I will be working on. I knew it was 5. But when I looked at my notes, I only have 4 listed. So that gave me a relief. But later on, as I browsed the syllabus, I saw that it was really 5! Shit! I remembered I did not include Erik Erikson in my notes since he is already in the book that I brought. See, how distraught I am that day?! Lesson learned? Follow your first instinct. And as Sr. George said this afternoon on our Spirituality of St. Paul class, "Your first gut feel is actually God speaking to you."...Makes really good sense!

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So, that was the tale of how hazel is now spelled S-T-U-P-I-D.

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I am happy that today, I finished my assignment ready for tomorrow! Wish me luck for tomorrow's exam! Thank God Grad School exams are open book ones!

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Love and Bliss!

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Listening to: Canon in D by Mozart (got a hang of this in Jam Legend in which i'll play after this..)

who will be the next American Idol?

American Idol has been one of my favorite reality shows since its Season 3. Tonight, it all came down to the Top 5 of Season 7 and it was Rat Pack (Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Samuel Davis,etc) Night.

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Standard is one of my favorite genres because of its classic touch and timelessness. (In shorter terms, because it's old..hehe!) Some of the best songs belong to this genre and I think it was quite fitting to set tonight into a jazzy and tender mood after last week's discorama.

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I was quite disappointed that they don't sing two songs like they used to in the past seasons when the contestants have been lowered down in number. (Or maybe, it is not up yet.) I am not really quite sure if double song numbers were also up last year..hehe!

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Oh well, I was telling myself to make song reviews when they hit the Top 5. Because by then, I know that the best will remain, sparing me sheer dumb luck performances. And besides, 5 songs is not exhaustive to review..hehe...So, here we go!

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1. Kris Allen's The Way You Look Tonight -- This is one of my favorite songs since then! I love Kris' take on this song. He captured the tenderness of the song which is supposed to swoon all ladies away. It is really hard to comment on the technical side when the one who sings is a charmer! haha! I have week knees on cute guys who sing, and I mean sing well! Plus, I love the song first and foremost. I think Kris sang it well enough. He gave it his own twist (and not just the lip twist). The somewhat acoustic and jazzy feel to it was good to the ears (and eyes). Star Points: 9/10

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2. Allison Iraheta's Someone to watch over me -- This is another great song. I just wish that Allison took it into a lighter tone but her rough voice gave it an edge. It was refreshing to see her not take on a rock song this time. But I wish she softened it up a little bit. The song has an innocent feel to it along with a tender, flowy tone. I can see this better on the likes of Katharine McPhee whi has that sooth, clean voice who can lull you to sleep. Star Points: 8/10

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3. Matt Giraud's My Funny Valentine -- I heard this song first on Matt Damon's music video from the movie, The Talented Mr. Ripley. This is one of those great American Standards that I believe is very hard to sing. There was definitely some pitch points in Matt's performance. Of all contestants, he should be the one to nail this week since he has a ground on jazz. I would like him to take upbeat songs ang showcase his dueling piano act. Tonight was just a plain "hotel performance" for me. It needed a bigger oomph considering that this is the Top 5 and you have to fight for it! And, he has to prove to America that the judges' save on him is worth it. The end of the song was good though. Star Points: 6.9/10

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4. Danny Gokey's Come Rain or Come Shine -- Another natural charmer form Day 1! I love Danny Gokey! He just pierces right into your heart and soul the moment he sings a note! Again, it is hard to focus on the notes when the one singing makes you just stare at him and marvel through his eyes..haha! Though this week isn't that good as his Jesus Takes The Wheel rendition, it was better than Matt's..hehe! Star Points: 8/10

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5. Adam Lambert's Feeling Good -- Another week of his high pitched rocker screams. I feel like every performance I am waiting for him to do a rock sign down across his face along with a tongue out everytime he belts it out. haha! He is good and unique but that version of Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire scared the hell out of me! From then on, I see him as an evil tempter! hahaha! Weird! But he is really good. He is a stellar performer! Star Points: 7.5/10

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Good performances this week! hehe! clap, clap, clap!

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Let me just comment on the judges for a little bit:

• Randy Jackson - reasonable
• Kara DioGuardi - Thank God you were included this season! She gives constructive criticisms which are direct and also reasonable
• Paula Abdul - a blunt catalyst (hello worthless! haha...)
• Simon Cowell - still a favorite! love those creative lines!

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So, Danny vs. Adam in the finals anyone?!

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Love and Bliss!

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Listening To: Two Words by Lea Salonga