A Cacophony of Nothingness

I can barely believe that it had been one whole year that I am a nurse, a professional bum for that matter. Last July 24 marked 365 days of unemployment and career misdirection. Yes, I had made a few bucks with my online shop but nothing close to having a career with my license on hand and at stake.

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Though I am currently pursuing Graduate Studies, I am still constantly bumped by the questions, "Now what?", "What happens next?", "Is this all you can do for a productive time?" Yes, I am a full time student. I usually spend my weekdays finishing paper works due on weekends. But that was last semester. This time, I am quite relaxed with requirements. My current subjects does not require endless paperworks yet. This time, we are more on lectures and paperworks will come towards the end of the semester. The big shebang would be my research proposal for my thesis, which I haven't had a final thought of. I am currently on the pursuit of my 33rd unit. The Masters program has 46 units. That means, I have to finish 2 subjects in the second semester, take my comprehensive examinations possibly in the summer then finish my thesis by October next year. Well, on the optimist point of view, it will be just 1 year more for me to get the coveted MAN degree. But come to think of it. It will be another 365 days of unemployment and bumness.

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You may say that getting a job is the solution to this bumness. But you see, a job as a nurse is not the easiest thing. It's much more easier to pass the boards than to look for a job. Plus, if I stop being full time in my masters, when will I graduate? Let alone another semester? So as much as I also wanted to be one of those hospital nurses, I think I have to be realistic enough and focus in my direction. Although, at times, I can't really help but refer to myself as unproductive. Getting up in the morning late enough not to have breakfast, Plurking, Tweeting, chatting and doing some homeworks. That's my typical day lately.

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I really wanted to do more. But I don't want to make the same mistake again of rushing into things and falling short of a flop. I've learned a lesson early on and have come to realize and accept the consequences. This is where career misdirection # 1 took place. Original Plan: Apply, Review and Take NCLEX.... Evilness: long story..refer to previous blog entry .... Rebound Plan: Take up Masters. Until now, I have not applied for NCLEX. I have placed it low on my to-do list. After all, America is just there; just there preparing herself again, building up bucks, getting ready for me.. (bwahahaha!)

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Lately, my book whore soul has been awakened. Buying books really comfort me. I don't know but maybe this is my subconscious taking her throne. This career stressor has been bugging me and maybe I do need comfort. And what better way to ease it that buying books. I told myself that I won't buy again for this year since there are a lot of titles waiting for me to be read. It looks like I hoard books now rather than collecting them. I just bought 2 titles this week and I may buy another one, or two soon. Hay life! It's really a dog-eat-dog out there! Maybe I just really need a breather even if my life seems a breeze now. Hanging in the air can also be tiring. Thoughts bug your head.

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So this is my life in a year, darlings... Not as productive as others but I can be contented. Though I can't deny that I don't have to rush work since this household's daily needs is sustained, I still want my own career path. I still want my own success. Oh well, one step at a time, right? I always say, I have to finish my Master's Degree so I'll just go straight. Anyway, once I have it, it would be like my all seasons VIP pass to employment. So, let's just wait and see. No rushing.

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Right now, I am a research assistant (career misdirection #2..hahahaha!)... At least it's an additional compensation for me. I see it as my practice job..hehe! Giving your all, satisfying people... and all that jazz!

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Yes, the future is super scary for me but I'm definitely looking forward to it! Hopefully, by this time next year, I'll be blogging about my ramblings and complaints on how tasky thesis writing is. Because hopefully, it just means I can finish and graduate in October 2010.

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P.S. Congratulations to the Angeli Illuminati Christi for having a 100% passing rate in the June 2009 Exams! The results were released on July 25, exactly 1 year and 1 day after we got ours.

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Love and Bliss Frecklesnoots!