This week is crap in all its crappy glory. I've been feeling low again- alone, invisible. And, I've been ditched THRICE on New Moon! I need a breather!
It has been a while that I haven't been tapping keyboards for a blog entry. Maybe this is just what I need; to surrender myself to the power and comfort of written words.
Time and time again, this crap creeps into me like a stranger in the night, sudden, mysterious and unwanted. Maybe it has come to a point where I cannot shrug it off already. I feel lonely and invisible. Moments like this makes me want to have someone, that guy who can strip off this invisibility cloak or maybe go in so that somebody could see me on the inside.
The truth is, I feel like I don't matter that much to people in the circle now. It's far off from what we've had. I missed those times. Now, I feel like a neuter, a mere spectator. I remembered a line from the movie, The Sisterhood of Traveling Pants 2, there will always be someone who will know last. At times I also wanna be asked; the one who is chased, not the one who comes after. And lately, more often than not, reaching out just falls into frustration. This is just not another KSP moment. This is a cry for sensitivity and remembrance, for updates, for group hugs and pep talks.
Then again, as I keep telling myself, you cannot push importance to something if it is not a priority to someone. This doesn't goes out to things but to people as well. You cannot expect them to talk to you or be with you if you're not on top of the list. (ouch!) If you feel otherwise, you will just frustrate yourself. Lesson learned, people.
This is just a phase. A phase to what I call, the "Recycle Bin Syndrome". You can throw the sorrows away but you can retrieve it anytime. It's just a matter of choice. Now I sound like a gibberish blah! Tomorrow is gonna be a brand new day. Or maybe yet, change is today.
If people don't understand, then let me speak in the shoes of Lucy in While You Were Sleeping: "You have no idea how it is to be alone."
Love and Bliss!
It has been a while that I haven't been tapping keyboards for a blog entry. Maybe this is just what I need; to surrender myself to the power and comfort of written words.
Time and time again, this crap creeps into me like a stranger in the night, sudden, mysterious and unwanted. Maybe it has come to a point where I cannot shrug it off already. I feel lonely and invisible. Moments like this makes me want to have someone, that guy who can strip off this invisibility cloak or maybe go in so that somebody could see me on the inside.
The truth is, I feel like I don't matter that much to people in the circle now. It's far off from what we've had. I missed those times. Now, I feel like a neuter, a mere spectator. I remembered a line from the movie, The Sisterhood of Traveling Pants 2, there will always be someone who will know last. At times I also wanna be asked; the one who is chased, not the one who comes after. And lately, more often than not, reaching out just falls into frustration. This is just not another KSP moment. This is a cry for sensitivity and remembrance, for updates, for group hugs and pep talks.
Then again, as I keep telling myself, you cannot push importance to something if it is not a priority to someone. This doesn't goes out to things but to people as well. You cannot expect them to talk to you or be with you if you're not on top of the list. (ouch!) If you feel otherwise, you will just frustrate yourself. Lesson learned, people.
This is just a phase. A phase to what I call, the "Recycle Bin Syndrome". You can throw the sorrows away but you can retrieve it anytime. It's just a matter of choice. Now I sound like a gibberish blah! Tomorrow is gonna be a brand new day. Or maybe yet, change is today.
If people don't understand, then let me speak in the shoes of Lucy in While You Were Sleeping: "You have no idea how it is to be alone."
Love and Bliss!